Dear jeremie, Love is when you look into someone's eyes and go all the way inside; to their soul and you both know... instantly! I wanted to the tell you about my feelings in person but then I thought how much more personal it would be to put them down in a letter. It might seem old fashioned, but there is something special about the written word - somehow it seems a little more permanent and meaningful.
There are many things that I have been meaning to say to you but just haven't found the words until now. I feel that Lately theres been some things happen that have truley hurt me. I've lost all trust in you and it's made me dought every "i love you" thats come out of your mouth. I feel used, and betrayed. Like you took advantage of my feelings for you and that you never once thought about how wrong you were or how it would effect me when it was all said and done. You would go back to your life and never think of me and xander again. How could you do that ,are you really that cold? Whats sad is you'll always have my heart no matter how bad you break it and i think you no that so it's nothing to treat me like i dont matter cause you can always come back. Or so you think.. I decided put down these words because I am forever chsnged by someone i nevrr got the chance to know "Jeremie Brooks". From the moment we met you opened up feelings and emotions i never wanted to experence again.In my heart theres no place,theres no room for anymore mistakes. Its much easier to fake a smile than to explain what i really feel inside. If there ever was a way for u to read whats in my heart you would be in tears. You walk out my door everyday thinking i dont love you and everyday i watch u walk out my door my heart races because i dont know when i will see you again or if i ever will. You came into my life unexpectedly and without haist. We clicked instantly. You were a fanticy that intruded in on my reality. Oh, the way you talked,the way you made me feel without you even knowing. Exciteing,secure,sexy,nervious and so very different from the woman i knew myself to be. I want to say i miss you let you no that every moment im awake i think of you. Lately i wonder where your heart is cause it sure dont feel like it's here with me. Do u feel lonley when your here by my side? Do u wish you were by yourself or that i was someone else? Have i become the enemy ,is hard to be yourself in my company? Just talk to me babe till we ain't strangers anymore. . I was recently thinking of you at at home lying in bed cuddled up with you, I thought i really can see us here together happy and in love. When you hold me in your arms the world disapears and all thats there and thats in that moment is us. I'm happy and nothing or no one can harm us or come in between.
. Your beautiful smile and passionate eyes makes me feel Safe,beautiful ,loved,and wanted.
I understand that you have been facing some significant challenges lately such as I no you were hurt and im sorry she hurt you. No one should ever have to feel that hurt. How do you feel about us losing our babies. They would have been so beautiful., and that this would be making you feel I understand that she is your wife and thst you love her. I also no that you love me too but theres no place for to of us. I realize i'll be the one left alone without you but i'll always be happy for the time we did share together.. My recent challenging I have been dreaming of you and me and our family sinse i lost the baby. I no i sound crazy but it's really messed with me. I wanted the baby huh i really did. In my dreames its a girl. She is darker than xander with my long hair and has hazle eyes. Shes beautiful. has left me feeling with me losing the babies i feel like im not good enough for you., and I do not want this to have any impact on our relationship. Whilst we have had our challenges I am looking foward to the future, and experiencing I just want to be happy and be loved and love inreturn. And Jeremie i am happy with you. together. Love ashley 
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