Love Letter For Chris.

Dear Eli, To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
Or something.
You were the hopeless fucking romantic anyway, this would have been the sort of thing you would do. You probably would have quoted Shakespeare though, and saved the profanity until the last paragraph. Anyway, this is just one of the things I am doing that will never ever be enough.

There are many things that I have been meaning to say to you but you will never get to hear any of them, because I waited to long. I feel that We were never meant to grow old together, we were always supposed to end it all young.. But We were meant to meet each other, we were meant to be in love, even if it was only temporary.. I was recently thinking of you at the river, We speant every waking moment together, and it wasn't enough. Sneaking out to the river in the dead of night, I thought you were my everything. Everything about you was perfect, your temper, your intelligence, even your stupid fondness for the dusty old books that the rest of the world had ceased to care about.. The violence of our love always left me empty and confused, or at least that's what I thought at the time...now i know that it was nothing but childish insecurity. You would be roughly 25 now, and this would have been the time where we would enter the mature, boring phase of the relationship...like everyone else. Actually, knowing you, that's doubtful. You would still have your nose in a book while throwing cheetos at my sister.

You died with severe third degree burns, and broken bones. The driver was drunk and hit you head on. The nurses wouldnt let me in to see you while you were here because Im not family. Im told you were asking for me, though. You looked nothing like you do in my memory. I still cat believe it was my fault. I shouldn't have asked you to come over...You were on your way to see me. You wouldnt have me feel this knawing guilt, but i do every day..I have Been suffering the cold shoulder from your homophobic dickwad family, my family believes i have severe depression, and i was specifically told not to show my face at your funeral. They think I corrupted you. Made you this way. I have been left feeling like I don't matter. I was never supposed to exist in your world., I am looking foward to the future, and experiencing I can not wait to die and meet you again.
together. Love Chris.