Dear Jared, What's meant to be will always find a way. I wanted to the tell you about my feelings in person but then I thought how much more personal it would be to put them down in a letter. It might seem old fashioned, but there is something special about the written word - somehow it seems a little more permanent and meaningful.
There are many things that I have been meaning to say to you but just haven't found the words until now. I feel that we can make it better . I decided put down these words because we have been fighting an awful lot lately . I was recently thinking of you at your bedroom, I've hated myself recently. I cant do anything right and my mind won't let me. Im going to lose you but i can't stop. Somethings wrong with me and you don't deserve it. All i want is to be happy with you, but i always seem to ruin it. I love you so much and yet i can't show you because Im too fuckedup . Your stunning body and soul makes me feel Warm and secure .
I understand that you have been facing some significant challenges lately such as dealing with me 24/7, and that this would be making you feel I can be very difficult and stubborn . My recent challenging strong emotions has left me feeling depressed, alone, unlovable, and I do not want this to have any impact on our relationship. Whilst we have had our challenges I am looking foward to the future, and experiencing Being happy, living life to the fullest together. Love Pilar 
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