Dear Tania, What's meant to be will always find a way. I wanted to the tell you about my feelings in person but then I thought how much more personal it would be to put them down in a letter. It might seem old fashioned, but there is something special about the written word - somehow it seems a little more permanent and meaningful.
There are many things that I have been meaning to say to you but just haven't found the words until now. I feel that you owe me more pie bish.. I decided put down these words because I Ate Your Pie. I was recently thinking of you at The toilet, I was pooping out cherries and you came into my mind. Your Pie makes me feel Fat.
I understand that you have been facing some significant challenges lately such as I ate your last five pies and fucked your stuffed animal, and that this would be making you feel I ate your pies and what not. My recent challenging became a fatty has left me feeling Hungry, and I do not want this to have any impact on our relationship. Whilst we have had our challenges I am looking foward to the future, and experiencing Buying lots of pies together. Love Dick Head 
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