Dear Ash, Love is indescribable and unconditional. I could tell you a thousand things that it is not, but not one that it is. I wanted to the tell you about my feelings in person but then I thought how much more personal it would be to put them down in a letter. It might seem old fashioned, but there is something special about the written word - somehow it seems a little more permanent and meaningful.
There are many things that I have been meaning to say to you but just haven't found the words until now. I feel that . I decided put down these words because When I first was with you I used to smile so much but now it's kind of hard to think you know. My mind is so confused and so is my heart and I don't know what to do anymore. It's like I'm making both our lives worse. The reason why I keep breaking up with you is because it seems that if maybe i were never there in your life, then maybe your life would be way better. You wouldn't be too sad and probably none of this will be happening to you. Then I look towards the future and I finally understood that I can never change the past. So maybe this is fate, maybe we have to go through these hard things together. I just want to know that Ieven if I say I don't love you I'll always love you no matter if its as a friend, more than a friend, or less. Ive been thinking , wondering a lot about why I make you cry why. Why I make you sad , why I really make you happy, why are your friends better than me at being your girlfriend, and that's why I think you deserve someone better. You say I deserve someone better but I want you, get better for me. I don't want better I only want you to get better with me because you only deserve something as good as you are right ? How am I supposed to know how to make you laugh smile little make you not depressed and family over there I try my best to be there because I'm not physically there and that's why I'm very sad because if you were physically here then I will have no problem with you like being with their friends on time or early texting me but since you aren't here you have to me you don't have to but cuz I'm lonely I need you tonight text me or call me or hug me or give me a sign that you're there give me a sign that you love me as I'm speaking right now into the mic I cry because I'm letting all my feelings out for you in the small little paper I never knew words could tell how much I felt I'm so sorry I am sorry for making your life horrible I'm sorry for everything, & I promise you you know I don't promise I swear I swear on my soul and I will make everything better and if I fail then why should I love to and please don't kill yourself because if you're going and loose with the point for me to list I love you why for now or whatever you want you can say goodbye forever but just now well, like I always say I will always be there.. I was recently thinking of you at valentines day, That was when I asked you out. Valentine's day, the perfect day for a sweet perfect gorgeous girl like you. I'll never forget it.. Youre so perfect. Thinking about you makes me feel warm and happy.
I understand that you have been facing some significant challenges lately such as The loss of magic, your limiteds, and cash. I know this is making you feel down but life sucks for everyone but we will get through it together if you choose not to leave me. My recent challenges, I've been having a bad day too. I had to curse out and lose Chloe and Susan as friends and my grandpa grabbed my ass today so that ruined me. I thought I was done with people like my father trying to touch young kids but nope. has left me feeling it makes me hate life, i could die but i will not., and I do not want this to have any impact on our relationship. While we have had our challenges I am looking foward to the future, and experiencing Great memories together. Love Rain 
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